Commitment

Bob and I have been together since 1996. I say “together” because we have never married. Oh Bob has proposed all right. Numerous times. It is I who have resisted. After having a 35-year marriage come to an end, I was more than a little skeptical about how much a marriage license really means when it comes to commitment. “It’s just a meaningless piece of paper,” I told him. But I did agree to a commitment ceremony, which we held in the gardens of my Victorian home on a balmy moonlit night. Our close friends and family shared the occasion with us. Bob and I each read a special selection from the words of Jamie Sams, a Native American shaman of the Cherokee and Seneca tribes. Then we added our own words of commitment.

My words to Bob:
You have given me wings to fly,
And my spirit soars like a spiraling hawk
To touch the warmth of the sun;
I give you sunlight and rainbows,
A star to guide your way, the breath of life, the fire of love,
A rock to lean on, and gentle healing rain
I hold this union sacred.
In love and respect I will walk beside you.
You are my love for all time.

Bob’s words to me:
My journey has until now been alone. I have struggled to understand the disparate aspects of myself… warrior, healer and mystic. Through your love I have come to accept these parts and become complete. Most importantly, I know that I am no longer alone. You are my guiding star, my Morningstar. I will be your protector, your companion and your lover from this day forward. All things now change… in place, purpose, and style. We move from earth to sea, work to service, prose to poetry.

Nothing has changed that commitment to each other. If anything it is stronger today than ever. But there are times when legal documents are needed in order to carry out that commitment, such as hospital visitation rights, medical decisions, and power of attorney. The State of Washington gives us a way to do that. In 2007, legislation was passed to officially recognize Domestic Partners; giving them all the rights and privileges of married couples… it specifically mentions senior couples, requiring at least one to be over the age of 62. Earlier this month Bob and I filled out the form, had it notarized, added a check to cover the registration fee, and sent it all off to Olympia. By return mail we received two official certificates recognizing our State Registered Domestic Partnership, and wallet cards for each of us. (It has already proven to be helpful.) But nothing has really changed. Commitments are not bound by paper contracts or official sanction. Commitments are made in the heart.

... P. L. Morningstar