It is what it is

There are so many postings that I have begun and then scrapped. “I can’t write that,” I tell myself, “people want to be inspired, to find hope, positive thinking.” So I post nothing… waiting for something positive to write about. But it is unrealistic to think that I can keep pumping out upbeat missives. There are days when I feel like Job with one affliction coming hard upon the heels of another. With most chronic diseases, the medicine you take makes you feel better. However, cancer treatments add their toll to the bodily assault… chipping away at the quality of life with bleeding gums, nail toxicity, peeling skin, dry everything, and the terrible life-numbing fatigue. Normal, everyday life is only a fond memory… one that I will never see again.

There are many, and I mean MANY in big capital letters… many things for which I am grateful. First and foremost, my Bob, who carries my burden and lightens my load. Then the loving support of family and friends, excellent healthcare here in Bellingham, caring nurses at the infusion center, financial aid to cover the high cost of Tarceva, and living in a vibrant and friendly community… and much more. It helps to make the situation bearable, but cannot change the day-to-day experience. My good friend Melanie tells me her mother had an expression, “It is what it is.” She was right.

I do have something upbeat to report. Remember the preliminary plans for my friend Melanie and me to ride the MV Aurora Explorer this spring? We were going to relive those young, carefree days of world travel. Well those plans ended pretty quickly when it turned out the cost would be $2,600 per person and the roundtrip airfare to Campbell River would add another thousand. So I came up with a plan B for Birthday/Balloon. I’ve always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride, and on the internet found Morning Glory Ballooning in Winthrop, Washington. Yay! The morning of May 26, was available and is now reserved for our balloon ride and picnic. The basket holds five passengers and the pilot. Just enough room for Melanie and Lee, my son Jeff, Bob… and me. A wonderful way to celebrate my 70th birthday, and coincidently, the one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Something to look forward to. It is what it is.

... P. L. Morningstar