Sunshine into the Darkness

I‘ve had a rough week. No need to go into details, but Tarceva has been temporarily discontinued and I am on a round of antibiotics. On Monday, we’ll discuss the situation with my oncologist after my Avastin infusion. Living with cancer is like riding a roller coaster, with all the highs and lows and everything in between. And when I am faltering at the bottom of the double loopy-loop, little things can make all the difference. Like yesterday… it was terrible and I was seriously thinking, “I’m really going downhill fast.” Then Bob answered a knock on the door and accepted a parcel post package addressed to me. The return address showed it was from my sister Nancy – the one who sends me all the silly cards that make me laugh. Inside the box was a blue Teddy bear dressed in a purple tee shirt, a purple straw hat with lime green flowers, lime green sunglasses, and a jaunty yellow scarf around her neck. There were words printed on the tee shirt that said, “Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.” When I pressed a button on the bear’s paw, it played the Beetle song, “When I’m Sixty-Four.” A little handwritten message was tucked inside... "I didn't forget. I love you. Please keep on fighting Sis." Oh, I needed that, especially yesterday. It brought sunshine into the darkness. Thank you Nancy.

And if I may be so bold, may I tell you what is not helpful… hearing stories about cancer patients who are suffering set-backs, whose cancer is spreading, and who have been told that it is not a matter of “if,” but a matter of “when.” If you want to help me, tell me about the survivors… I already know about the other stuff.

... P. L. Morningstar
.